God Spoke in Week 5

God started speaking to me about my gifts last Tuesday during small group, but I didn't even know it. A couple people commented on how strong I am. I thought big deal, everyone says that, and it's not really a gift, it's more of an attitude, stubbornness, even inflexibility. On Wednesday this week, during worship, Katie felt to pray over me about my strength, and using it for God's glory, and I really don't remember the details of what she prayed, I was kinda thinking, what good is strength, why do people keep bringing it up anyway. I went back to singing and God just spoke to me about me. "I didn't give you your strength of spirit for you. You've been living off of it, relying on it instead of me, and it's not even for you. It's for others. Your strength and will give it to me, give it to others. It's for the weak, the wondering, and the lost. Stop using it for you; don't make yourself comfortable in it. Step out, I want my strength in your weakness, and your strength in others weakness. Give it away." He talked so fast I had to write it all down before I forgot it. I told God I didn't understand how to do that, or what he meant, but I wanted to know and I want to obey. Thursday morning during my quiet time, I read 2 Sam 15, and prayed for revelation about my independent spirit. In class Andrew went over the beatitudes and one really stuck out to me. "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth". Andrew defined meek, as strength in walking in the opposite spirit. When someone attacks you, love him or her. When someone is greedy, be generous. Be strong in your opposition, and you will win the hearts of the lost. These actions start in prayer, pray blessings over those who persecute and frustrate, this will release God's power into the circumstance. I felt like God was saying, this is how you can use your strength and will, walk in the opposite direction, in the opposite spirit, in extreme righteousness. Other phrases that got my attention were "walking against injustice" and "unconditional love enables me to walk out justice". God gave me another piece of the puzzle, which I am rejoicing in as I expectantly wait for the big picture.